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We're Not There Yet

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On Traveling with One Person…for a Year | We're Not There Yet

The morning of the first day of this trip, we cycled to a bike shop in Washington D.C. to buy some last minute gear.  A guy driving to work stopped us to chat, took our pictures and wrote about us on his blog.  He wrote that spending this much time together on a trip would either bring us closer together or be the crowbar that would drive us apart.  Happily, we were “driven together” and a few weeks later I proposed to M.

It’s true nonetheless that a trip like this could be very hard for any couple to endure.  We spend absolutely all of our time together.  I can count on one hand the number of times that M and I spent more than 3 hours apart.  Once in South Carolina when she went home to a funeral for three days, once in New Orleans when I was too hungover to spend a day walking around the French Quarter, and then once apiece in Costa Rica, Mexico and Indonesia when we did different activities for about 4 hours apiece.

In the past year, we’ve probably spent more time together than we have in our previous nine years of being in a relationship, especially since over several of those years we were in a long-distance relationship.  But I can happily report that not only are we just as happy with each other today as we were when we decided to start this trip, every single day has been a joy.  We’ve had a total of three arguments on the whole trip: in Oaxaca (Mexico), Xela (Guatemala), and Lake Tekapo (New Zealand).  These were generally stupid arguments and the last one, in New Zealand, was entirely caused by drinking 3 liters of wine while stuck inside a tiny cabin on a cold and rainy day.  In any case, it’s now been over four months without even a spat.

I guess I only find this worth mentioning since so many friends have asked how we’ve gotten along.  It’s not as if we can take credit for these happy relations, I think that we both just don’t enjoy fighting and find it easier to not start one.

In any case, here’s another interesting take on the whole thing:

When we were in Austin, we got a chance to spend time with the Grants, who we’ve written about previously (parents of a law school friend).  Dominic Grant is a professor at the University of Texas and lectures widely on the use of the Meyers-Briggs personality test.  He was kind enough to test our personalities and give us information about how our “types” typically interact.  I’ll leave it to you all to figure out which of us is an INFP (introverted-intuitive-feeling-perceiving) and which is the ENTJ (extroverted-intuitive-thinking-judging):

ENTJ’s and INFP’s have one of the four type preferences in common, and theirs is often a strong intellectual and creative connection.  Since they share a passion for new ideas and novel theories, they typically enjoy in-depth discussions of current events or global concerns.  ENTJs and INFPs appreciate each other’s vivid imaginations and easily understand each other’s desire to consider the long-range implications of issues or actions.  As a couple, they often enjoy thinking about and planning their future together.  They notice unusual possibilities and take great pleasure in each other’s creativity and original sense of humor.  Because neither tends to be especially rooted in tradition, both are usually open to considering new options and are often strong supporters of their partners’ efforts for personal and professional development.

ENTJs and INFPs may be initially attracted to each other because of their differences.  ENTJs are often drawn to INFPs because of their warmth, gentleness and uncanny insight into other people.  ENTJs admire their partners’ ability to understand the subtleties of human behavior and their eagerness to please and nurture others.  ENTJs also appreciate INFPs willingness to accommodate their partners’ agendas and needs.  INFPs are often attracted to ENTJs’ drive, ambition and natural leadership capabilities.  They admire ENTJ’s enormous personal energy and confidence, as well as their ability to manage very large or complex projects and get so many things done.

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